Two years past.

When I had vowed one day to never set foot on that path of long lost memories, I returned, unintentionally. My original plan was to do a grab-and-run. Saving some old photos from that user account and just leave. But somehow, a few seconds later, I found myself delving into that world I once knew. Me being the curious me, I just couldn't resist. After an hour or so, I found myself in the state I was two years ago: broken-hearted and angered.

The tale went this way, not that.

There was a time when I liked someone, and surprisingly, the feeling had been returned. How did I find out? Well, it was quite obvious considering the signs that he had showcased to the world that surrounded us all. 

Before I go on, I just want to say that...yeah, I guess this story might sound a bit too cheesy. But reading on won't hurt now, would it? Well, if you want to, that is.

You know when you like or maybe love someone (even though at one point you are unsure of your own feelings) you tend to want to trust him or her, with all your heart? Well, sometimes I did. But most of the time, I did not. A person told me once before, "Don't give your heart and soul. Because when he or she leaves, you may be left with little or none." So I decided not to grant him with my trust. And it was a good thing I didn't.

A few weeks flew by, faster than I had known. Conversations remained the same. But at one time, it began to change. The topics began to evolve around...another person who was the same gender as I was, but two years my junior. So I frankly asked him why we were talking about her. And he simply said that she was cute. I had to agree on that, because she was. And she was my close friend once before (but we drifted apart as time went by and she had moved to a different school). Conversations after conversations, all he did was talk about her. Until one day, I found out that his heart was for her. 

Believable or not, I was not the type of person who was jealous. With my siblings, jealousy was present. But not with him. Something I was grateful for then. 

Something hit me after a while. I just picked myself up and walked away. I told myself that if he's a person who loves one and loves another at the same time, he's not worth staying for. So I left. 

The devil in me just smirked and laughed at him. I pitied him. Falling head over heels for someone who may not love him, considering the fact that she already had someone. He knew, but still desperately tried to grab hold of her heart. 

A year later, after it all had ended and I was somewhere far from there, he contacted me. And sometimes even today, he stills does. I just ignore it all. There were times when I would actually entertain his questions, asking him what exactly he wanted from me. But the replies I got in return only made me even angrier than before.  

I don't hate him, because hating won't get me anywhere. And according to some Malays, "Benci benci engkau. Kejap lagi kau suka dia pula. (Hate him today, who knows, you might end up liking him the next day.)"

Nauzubillah.

I just 'don't like' then. 

 And my answers remain the same until today: I am not the same me I was before.