tears are useless.

I can't help but notice how much I've changed over the past few weeks. In some ways, its good. Because in a way, I'm stronger than before. And I can withstand the unwanted pressure from unwanted people.

And to explain what had happened a few days ago, I just couldn't help it. Ofcourse it wasn't the first time that such an incident had taken place. But I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. My heart told me to go, but then my body told me to stay.

Plain old me. I was scared, to be honest. I was afraid of such human beings. I'm sorry for being so useless. And I'm sorry for not helping. And I'm sorry if sometimes I was all talk and did hardly anything.

I can't say that you don't understand, but I just can't say it out loud. It seems pathetic. I seem pathetic. Or in other words, I am pathetic.

The words that were said to me today and in days to come may hurt me, but it won't hurt as much as the guilt I store inside me. I want to apologize, but I'm embarrassed. For my actions; for not acting out what I had planned in my mind.

" Why didn't you help? "

I just didn't know what to say. And I still don't.
I'm sorry.